The Cream-Filled Center of the Universe.

Personal Experiences with Rape Culture: Harassment via Wikipedia Vandalism

razingcomplacency:

femfreq:

As some of you may know a harassment campaign is being waged against me because of my Tropes vs Women in Video Games project on Kickstarter. This coordinated attack was launched by various online video game forums and has included attempts to get my…

about the vast amount of things I’m reading today, they are as follows:

• Addressing the Gendered Dimensions of Harassment and Bullying: What domestic and sexual violence advocates need to know PDF

• School Bullying Perpetration and Other Childhood Risk Factors as Predictors of Adult Intimate Partner Violence Perpetration PDF

• Crossing the Line: Sexual Harassment at School HTML

• Understanding Bullying PDF

• Talking Points: Sexual Harassment PDF

• School Bullying & Homophobic Harassment from TrueChild HTML

• Bullying Among Middle School and High School Students - Massachusetts, 2009 from the CDC Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report HTML

• Are youth-led programs a promising approach in sexual violence prevention? VAWNET blog HTML

If I have time, AKA Other things you lovely people may be somewhat interested in:

• Special Collection: Sexual Violence in Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Intersex, or Queer (LGBTIQ) Communities (VAWNET Special Collection of articles and scholarly research) HTML

• New language, old problem: Sex trafficking of American Indian women and children PDF

• Changing Perceptions of Sexual Violence Over Time PDF

• How do I know that the statistics I’m using are credible? VAWnet blog HTML

And there you have it.

darkjez:

witchsistah:

(TRIGGER WARNING: RAPE) This is Why Women Are Afraid to Tell You No | Polimicks

freshmouthgoddess:

This past Thursday, a group of men started cat-calling/hitting on a group of women in Chicago.  When the women said, no, the men threw bottles and then SHOT at their car as they tried to drive away.  One woman was shot in the shoulder, and the driver took a bottle in the head as she tried to drive off.  Last month in Washington, DC a Transwoman was shot for turning down a man’s request for sex as she sat in her car.  In August a woman in Atlanta was shot for refusing to get in a car with a group of men.  In May of 2010 a young woman was shot in the leg for turning down a man’s advances.

Ok, so that was one googling, which also yielded an article on a woman in Australia who was shot in the thigh after refusing to perform oral sex.  Many people will claim that these are just “isolated” incidents.  But three of those took place in the last two, two and a half months.  That’s not really isolated, in fact, that sounds distinctly like a pattern.

When guys complain about women not giving them a straight answer, this is why.  Granted, these are fairly extreme.  However, on a regular basis women who turn down men, no matter how nicely, are insulted, yelled at, spit on, hit, kicked and knocked to the ground.  Most of these assaults go unreported because women know that the police aren’t going to take them seriously, particularly if they’re dressed at all nicely or “sexy.”

This is why the Schrodinger’s Rapist post resonated with so many women.

“Why are you afraid of women?” I asked a group of men.
“We’re afraid they’ll laugh at us,” replied the men.
“Why are you afraid of men?” I asked a group of women
“We’re afraid they’ll kill us,” replied the woman. -Margaret Atwood

When men ignore our boundaries, try to push or test them, we rightfully feel that they are a bigger risk for pushing even more important, dangerous boundaries, like say, raping or hitting you.

Yeah, I know, a lot of you are out there (if you’ve gotten this far) thinking, “That’s bullshit! I’d never do that!”  And maybe you wouldn’t, but we can’t take that chance.  And when you push boundaries or ignore our “No”s, even about small things,  this puts you higher and higher up on the risk scale.

We can’t take those chances because when we’re raped or assaulted it’s always our fault.  Everyone tells us so.  Every single person who says, “I’d never blame the victim, but if you’re wearing a short skirt, what do you expect?”  Every fucking magazine with their “Ten Things You Can Do to Not Be Raped” articles, that place all the onus on women, and none of it on, oh, the rapists.

How do you not scare women?

Respect their boundaries.  Take no at face value.  As a commenter said over on Pharyngula, you have nothing to lose:  If she meant no, you’ve respected her wishes.  If she meant “pursue me harder” or whatever bullshit, then bullet dodged.  You don’t want to deal with that kind of mind-game playing, anyway.

But in all seriousness, guys, if you ever wonder why women act like their scared of you, read the above links again.

this is basically why i never never make eye contact with men here , why i ignore them always even when they are being nice and why i will never go back to Dagabon ever ….

Yup. No matter how indignant all the Nice Guys^TM get about women’s fear of men, the fundamental truth is that we live our entire lives on the defensive because there’s an ever-present danger of rape or assault. 

(via bluntlyblue)

stxena:

There have been a lot of posts on my Tumblr dashboard about street harassment and about men who won’t leave women alone, men who feel women owe them time and attention.  I am reminded of something that happened a few years ago, and how empowering that experience was.

But it was an experience that should not have happened at all.

A few years ago, my mother died. She died during a bitterly cold winter. Once the paperwork was finished and the memorial was over, I took a trip to Hawaii. I know that sounds crazy. But I needed some sunshine. I’d been to Hawaii once before and it’d been one of the happiest times of my life.

One warm afternoon, I sat on my towel on Waikiki Beach. (Rather far from the water, as I was under the shade of a tree.) I was surrounded by other beach goers, mainly frolicking families. I was wearing a black one-piece bathing suit and a sarong — I was dressed awfully modestly for the beach. I was reading a book. The only unusual thing, I guess, was that I was alone.

A man walked by, stopped, and asked how I was. “Fine!” I said and then went back to my book. The man kept walking.

Sometime later (not sure if it was just a few minutes later or longer than that), the man walked back. He asked, “Can I sit with you? I’d like to talk to you.”

I looked up at him and said, “No, thank you. I’m happy being alone.” He continued walking and did not return.

I was and am proud of myself for telling him no. Especially for this reason: On my first trip to Hawaii, on the same beach, a man had grabbed my hand and tried to convince me to “act like a husband and wife” with him. Instead of shouting or saying NO or anything, I politely tried to get rid of him and wound up pulling out my phone and fake-dialing, which finally got rid of him. I’d felt like it was my fault because I was alone and it was dusk.

I am angry with both men. I mean, the one on my first trip, especially, he had no right to grab me. But the second man, too — he was friendly and everything but I was clearly reading a book, why should he presume I’d want him to sit with me? There was nothing about my demeanor that suggested I wanted company. I can’t imagine walking up to some guy or girl, reading on the beach, and asking if I could sit with them. (Even as I write this, I worry that someone will think I’m a bitch and that he was just being a nice guy. Well la-di-dah, I guess.)

So. I am proud that I was able to speak up for myself and be left alone. But I am angry that this is something I should be proud about.

(via “What we wish construction workers would really say”- Stop Street Harassment)

If you don’t like that Idea, I don’t care.