A man is 631 times more likely to become an NFL player than to be falsely accused of rape.
"We end on a serious note. Because 1 in 33 men will be raped in his lifetime, men are 82,000x more likely to be raped than falsely accused of rape. It seems many of us would do well to pay more attention to how rape culture affects us all than be paranoid about false accusers.”
that last paragraph
A short paragraph about why MRAs are full of shit and don’t even care about men’s rights.
- 2 months ago
- 4 months ago
"Sex offenders minimize their number of victims. Speaking with 99 male sex offenders, court records showed 136 victims between them, but later during treatment, they eventually confessed to 959 victims between them."
huh weird so rapists are, like, lying about the number of people they’ve raped but all we can focus on are those damn hypothetical lying women who lied about being assaulted? lying liars lying all the time damn women lying. there’s a bigger lie in our midst, it would seem
HEY LOOK ITS ALMOST AS IF ABUSERS ARE A TERRIBLE SOURCE OF INFORMATION ABOUT THEIR ABUSE MINDBLOWING
- 5 months ago
"Perhaps to some teaching “rape is wrong” seems silly—don’t we all know this already? The truth is we don’t—as a country, we don’t really even understand what rape is. In Steubenville, a student who had learned that drunk driving was wrong—he took car keys away from an inebriated friend—looked on while an unconscious girl was penetrated because “it wasn’t violent…I thought [rape] was forcing yourself on someone.”"
- 6 months ago
possibly triggery, so trigger warning for sexual assault?
good links about the difference between men and women when it comes to rape culture: the original essay is here (it’s about proto-rapists and the insidiousness of rape culture and it is fantastic), but this anecdote in the comments section stood out for me:
Not surprisingly, I have a story? It’s pretty long, and I’m sorry.
This is long but you should read it anyway. And then read it again.Source: captainawkward.com
- 6 months ago
- 7 months ago
"A friend of mine was recently cornered in her building doorway, late at night, by a total stranger who “just wanted to take her out for a drink”. She said “No” several times, in increasing alarm, and finally he grabbed her arm and asked “Why not?”. She said, “Because you’re obviously not listening when I say no right now, so I can’t expect you to listen to anything else I say no to.”
To her total shock, he looked appalled, let go of her, apologized, and left. As far as she could tell, it had not occurred to him that cornering a stranger, grabbing her arm, and insisting she go get a drink with him might be seen as the sort of thing a rapist would do."
This happened to me a few months ago at 8AM on a Sunday while I was reading and had both sunglasses and headphones on. I counted the times I implicitly (“I’d just like to read my book”) or explicitly (“please just leave me alone, I don’t want to talk to you”) told him no, and I reached EIGHTEEN before I decided to jump on a train that wasn’t even mine to escape him because he kept trying to touch me even when I said very firmly ‘don’t touch me’.
See? It’s not always because we don’t say ‘no’ clearly enough - sometimes they just don’t want to hear it.
He followed me onto the train. He sat down next to me, kept trying to talk, and with a train full of people (mostly men) I told him loudly and firmly to ‘leave me alone’. He didn’t, no one said anything, no one looked up, in fact I’m pretty sure they were trying to look anywhere else. He asked why I was being such a bitch, why I wouldn’t agree to just go out for a drink, why I thought I was ‘pretty enough’ to just ignore him. Feeling close to hysterical I shouted at him “I’ve said ‘no’ about forty fucking times and you’re still forcing yourself on me - are you a rapist-in-training or just a massive cunt?”
He said I was crazy, that I was probably on my period, and got off at the next stop. No one asked me if I was okay, no one helped me, and the only people that looked at me were giving me those ‘why did you have to ruin my train journey with all that noise?’ looks.
Men who get upset with women who are ‘rude’ when you try to hit on them - THIS IS WHY.
THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THANK YOU!!!
I work with a guy who’s younger than me but taller than me. He found out that I was ticklish, so he decided to tickle me as a form of greeting. Every day. For seven weeks. Every single time he tried to tickle me, I said no. I said stop. I said go away, I don’t like being tickled, because guess what, I don’t like being tickled unless A) You are family or B) We are going out. Despite my many, verbal, physical, and otherwise obvious protests (“Stop” “Go away” “No”), he continued.
He only stopped when a male friend of mine intervened. But the moment my friend left, he would continue tickling me. The tickling escalated from mildly annoying to frightening, because he just wouldn’t fucking stop. He did stop at last though when I confronted him yesterday. In the middle of him tickling me, I shoved him away, and said, “Stop tickling me. I seriously hate it. I have told you a million times to stop, and you haven’t. If you don’t stop, I will never speak to you again, and I will report you to my supervisor.”
That got him to stop. The tickling wasn’t life-threatening, and I doubt he tickled me out of malicious intent, but what truly bothered me was how he thought I was joking or not serious all those times I told him to stop. What truly bothered me was how he continued tickling him, even when I told him to stop.
Boys are taught from a young, young age that girls play “hard to get,” and that if we say no, we really mean yes. This is rape culture.
- 10 months ago
During the time that we have been members of the tumblr community we have seen you all band together to change people’s lives in big and small ways. You’ve helped someone get a fluffy chicken and you’ve donated to make sure people you’ve never even met don’t become homeless or can get the medical care they need. You’ve created movements and petitions, made phone calls and written letters to fight injustice and bring light to issues that the rest of the world seems to be ignoring. We have been so happy to be part of a community that has done so much, and now we need your help.
With less and less funding coming from the federal and state governments to support organizations like ours we have been struggling like many other Rape Crisis Centers, however it’s gotten a lot worse for us in recent weeks. Sexual Assault Center of East Tennessee’s recent grant losses and budgetary strains have combined into a financial crisis. Although we have made every effort to conserve money and have cut back in every conceivable area we are still unable to meet some of our financial obligations and keep up with operating costs.
We are calling on anyone who supports our mission to help us in any way they can. We have served rape and sexual violence victims, survivors and their families in East Tennessee for forty years, we are the second longest running rape crisis center in the nation, and our goal is to continue on for forty more. With your help we can. SACET serves 15 counties in East Tennessee, we never have and never will charge survivors or their loved ones for our services.
We are seeking donations both large and small and we want you to know that 90% of any donation we receive goes to direct client services which include nursing care, legal and personal advocacy, therapy, and community education. The other 10% helps up fulfill administrative operating costs.
As always we are deeply grateful for the support of our community and the individuals who share in and support our mission to help victims heal from and bring an end to sexual violence.We don’t have a lot of followers on tumblr but those we do have are a truly amazing group. We know not all of you can afford to donate and would never ask you to stretch your own finances thin for us, but please spread the word if you can.
You can donate on our website here, call 867-558-9040 to donate over the phone, or by check to SACET 6215 kingston Pike, Suie A, Knoxville TN, 37919.
Reblogging for the night crowd-
This is a great center that helps a TON of people in my area and a big chunk of surrounding areas. There is literally nothing else here to help survivors if the center can’t operate.Source: sacet
- 1 year ago
Steubenville Rape Defense: It’s Not Rape Because Drunken, Barely Conscious Girl Didn’t Say ‘No’ | Addicting Info
In rape culture, this is consent.
In January, Anonymous made headlines for decidedly nonpolitical reasons as they exposed yet another sports town as a safe harbor for rapists. Two local jocks, Trent Mays and Ma’lik Richmond, were stupid enough to take pictures of themselves sexually assaulting an intoxicated and unconscious girl while several of their friends were not only stupid enough to record themselves joking about it, they put it online. But the defense team for Mays and Richmond have a very peculiar notion of how to keep their clients out of jail. Via The Atlantic Wire:
The very public trial of the very publicly shamed “rape crew” will begin on Wednesday in Steubenville, Ohio, and despite pre-trial testimony from three as-yet-untried high-school athletes who say they witnessed an unconscious 16-year-old dragged around by her hands and feet, and slurring her words, and at one point lying on the ground before she was penetrated, it appears that the lawyers for Trent Mays and Ma’lik Richmond will say the case’s Jane Doe consented to the whole thing. We’re not kidding. “Defense attorneys believe the girl, who lived across the river in Weirton, W.Va., made a decision to excessively drink and — against her friends’ wishes — to leave with the boys. They assert that she consented to sex,” reports the Cleveland Plain-Dealer‘s Rachel Dissell. Richmond’s attorney, Walter Madison, is getting specific, citing “an abundance of evidence here that she was making decisions, cognitive choices … She didn’t affirmatively say no.”
It’s clear that the defense is banking on rape culture carrying the day. In the alternate reality of rape culture, rape isn’t rape if the girl was “asking for it.” They’re hoping for a jury where at least of few of them will subscribe to Bill O’Reilly’s personal theory of responibility. Said theory states that a drunken woman that gets raped really has no one to blame but herself. She was, after all, drunk and everyone knows that drunk people deserve to have non-consensual sex forced on them. Victim blaming is a prime component of rape culture.
This is going to be a tough sell for even a disgusting misogynist like O’Reilly. The pictures from that night are clearly of an unconscious or barely conscious girl. The video from the “Rape Crew” clearly indicates that the girl was not able to communicate in any meaningful fashion. One particularly vile segment of the video shows one of these upstanding citizens making joke after joke about how “dead” the girl was.
“…an abundance of evidence here that she was making decisions, cognitive choices … She didn’t affirmatively say no.”
Really? Good luck with that.
- 1 year ago
An 8-year-old girl camper began swimming near the edge of the pool by me. She was a tiny girl with a bubbly personality, and she was very attached to me. Upon seeing us talking, the boy swam over and started chasing her around the water. It was clear from the way she was trying to get away from him and her screeching that she wanted to be left alone — her body language and tense demeanor should have showed that she was uncomfortable — but if that wasn’t enough of a clue, the “stop” she yelled in protest should have been enough for him to go away.
That’s when it really hit me how serious the situation was. I could immediately picture it escalating. I didn’t see an 8-year-old girl and an 11-year-old boy anymore; I saw the two of them as fully grown and matured adults. The girl was still small and skinny, and the boy was large enough to overpower her with little effort. I could see her running away from him, trying to push off his advances in a more sexual situation, but him refusing to believe that she really wanted him to stop. I saw him ignoring her physical protests right along with the verbal ones, convinced she wanted him there. It horrified me.
I reprimanded him immediately, insisting that when someone asks you to stop, it’s important to listen. Almost seconds later, a male counselor standing by the same section of the pool told him not to listen to me and to continue his pursuit of this little girl, despite her obvious protests. Here were two boys, roughly 10 years apart in age, but with the same views on women: that consent doesn’t matter. It’s not a generational thing: this mindset has clearly been ingrained into the public psyche from an early age. How often are we told not to take no for an answer? How often do we see children pestering their parents about getting a new toy until they eventually give in? How often do we hear about a woman’s whims coming with her menstrual cycle? How often do we see on television shows and in movies a woman “changing her mind” about a man who is persistent enough or who just proves himself worthy? The idea that a woman will change her mind is so ingrained that we can’t always recognize it at first."