from the comments @ #481: My parents acquired a friend for me (with a gross, moldy congealed side of stalking). | CaptainAwkward.com (via notemily)
This happened to me a few months ago at 8AM on a Sunday while I was reading and had both sunglasses and headphones on. I counted the times I implicitly (“I’d just like to read my book”) or explicitly (“please just leave me alone, I don’t want to talk to you”) told him no, and I reached EIGHTEEN before I decided to jump on a train that wasn’t even mine to escape him because he kept trying to touch me even when I said very firmly ‘don’t touch me’.
See? It’s not always because we don’t say ‘no’ clearly enough - sometimes they just don’t want to hear it.
He followed me onto the train. He sat down next to me, kept trying to talk, and with a train full of people (mostly men) I told him loudly and firmly to ‘leave me alone’. He didn’t, no one said anything, no one looked up, in fact I’m pretty sure they were trying to look anywhere else. He asked why I was being such a bitch, why I wouldn’t agree to just go out for a drink, why I thought I was ‘pretty enough’ to just ignore him. Feeling close to hysterical I shouted at him “I’ve said ‘no’ about forty fucking times and you’re still forcing yourself on me - are you a rapist-in-training or just a massive cunt?”
He said I was crazy, that I was probably on my period, and got off at the next stop. No one asked me if I was okay, no one helped me, and the only people that looked at me were giving me those ‘why did you have to ruin my train journey with all that noise?’ looks.
Men who get upset with women who are ‘rude’ when you try to hit on them - THIS IS WHY.
THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THANK YOU!!!
I work with a guy who’s younger than me but taller than me. He found out that I was ticklish, so he decided to tickle me as a form of greeting. Every day. For seven weeks. Every single time he tried to tickle me, I said no. I said stop. I said go away, I don’t like being tickled, because guess what, I don’t like being tickled unless A) You are family or B) We are going out. Despite my many, verbal, physical, and otherwise obvious protests (“Stop” “Go away” “No”), he continued.
He only stopped when a male friend of mine intervened. But the moment my friend left, he would continue tickling me. The tickling escalated from mildly annoying to frightening, because he just wouldn’t fucking stop. He did stop at last though when I confronted him yesterday. In the middle of him tickling me, I shoved him away, and said, “Stop tickling me. I seriously hate it. I have told you a million times to stop, and you haven’t. If you don’t stop, I will never speak to you again, and I will report you to my supervisor.”
That got him to stop. The tickling wasn’t life-threatening, and I doubt he tickled me out of malicious intent, but what truly bothered me was how he thought I was joking or not serious all those times I told him to stop. What truly bothered me was how he continued tickling him, even when I told him to stop.
Boys are taught from a young, young age that girls play “hard to get,” and that if we say no, we really mean yes. This is rape culture.