Posts Tagged: sexual harassment

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What do you do when a man you look up to, a man whose outspoken feminism and respect for women had enraptured an entire community of fangirls, sends you pictures of his dick?

What do you do when you tell him you’re underage, and his response is, “It’s legal in my country”?

Sweet-bitsy’s Tumblr idol had a formidable fandom thanks to his YouTube performances, selfies in bowties, and a fashionably geeky Internet persona. For nine months, she cringed every time she saw his name. Finally, she took a chance and told Tumblr her story.

As sweet-bitsy predicted, all hell broke loose. Victim-blaming backlash (“Because of people like you, the song ‘Blurred Lines’ exists”) flooded her inbox. And then something remarkable happened: She found she wasn’t alone.

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Source: waitinginthemirrors
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venomrose:

being nice to people who are harassing you is a survival tactic. girls learn this by the time they turn 12, if you flat out tell a guy no, he’ll become angry & the situation will get worse, sometimes even violent. you are taught to be nice and let them down easy, which then you are accused of “leading them on”. There is no winning, you just got to choose which you find less horrible.

(via freakingdork)

Source: pomeranianprivilege
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Sexual Assault Center of East TN: Stopped in construction traffic this morning, a man in a passing car...

sacet:

Stopped in construction traffic this morning, a man in a passing car yelled some extremely NSFW suggestions out his window. I did not even blink. Most women don’t even blink. We are so used to this type of behavior from strange men that we have learned to pretend as if nothing happened. Head down,…

Source: sacet
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sacet:

The numbers are staggering- 1 in 3 women and 1 in 6 men will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime. That’s an assault every 2 minutes in the US alone.
When you’re vocal about your commitment to ending sexual violence, in your homes, in your communities, in our world chances are there will be a survivor around to hear you.
When you’re vocal about your belief in and support for victims of sexual violence chances are there will be a survivor around to hear you.
When you are an outspoken opponent of victim blaming, of using rape as a punchline, of street harassment and gendered bullying chances are there will be a survivor around to hear you.
On the other hand-
If you’re engaging in victim blaming behaviors, making rape jokes, harassing women and others in the streets, supporting legislation that makes it more difficult for victims to get help, etc. - chances are there will be a survivor around to hear you.
With statistics like those above it becomes clear that survivors are people you know, people you love, at home, at work, at school, at the coffee shop.
So you have a choice - stand up, or let them down.

sacet:

The numbers are staggering- 1 in 3 women and 1 in 6 men will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime. That’s an assault every 2 minutes in the US alone.

When you’re vocal about your commitment to ending sexual violence, in your homes, in your communities, in our world chances are there will be a survivor around to hear you.

When you’re vocal about your belief in and support for victims of sexual violence chances are there will be a survivor around to hear you.

When you are an outspoken opponent of victim blaming, of using rape as a punchline, of street harassment and gendered bullying chances are there will be a survivor around to hear you.

On the other hand-

If you’re engaging in victim blaming behaviors, making rape jokes, harassing women and others in the streets, supporting legislation that makes it more difficult for victims to get help, etc. - chances are there will be a survivor around to hear you.

With statistics like those above it becomes clear that survivors are people you know, people you love, at home, at work, at school, at the coffee shop.

So you have a choice - stand up, or let them down.

Source: sacet
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about the vast amount of things I’m reading today, they are as follows:

  • Addressing the Gendered Dimensions of Harassment and Bullying: What domestic and sexual violence advocates need to know PDF
  • School Bullying Perpetration and Other Childhood Risk Factors as Predictors of Adult Intimate Partner Violence Perpetration PDF
  • Crossing the Line: Sexual Harassment at School HTML
  • Understanding Bullying PDF
  • Talking Points: Sexual Harassment PDF
  • School Bullying & Homophobic Harassment from TrueChild HTML
  • Bullying Among Middle School and High School Students - Massachusetts, 2009 from the CDC Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report HTML
  • Are youth-led programs a promising approach in sexual violence prevention? VAWNET blog HTML

If I have time, AKA Other things you lovely people may be somewhat interested in:

  • Special Collection: Sexual Violence in Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Intersex, or Queer (LGBTIQ) Communities (VAWNET Special Collection of articles and scholarly research) HTML
  • New language, old problem: Sex trafficking of American Indian women and children PDF
  • Changing Perceptions of Sexual Violence Over Time PDF
  • How do I know that the statistics I’m using are credible? VAWnet blog HTML

And there you have it.

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In other words, the more frequent type of harassment suffered by children today—and the one they report as affecting them the most negatively—is expressing hostility at children who do not fit into some preconceived notion of what “normal” sexuality is. Normality in this connection apparently means that girls must display a level of sexual activity that can go unperceived (neither too much nor too little), and that everyone should be straight.

Or to be a bit more blunt about it: sexual harassment in middle and high schools today is motivated by either misogyny or homophobia. Neither has to do with sex. And neither would be helped by treating sexual harassment between children as a result of overactive hormones to be dismissed.

In fact, the solution is just the opposite: active and broad engagement about sexuality and sex roles. Because misogyny and homophobia are fuelled by ignorance and fear. And ignorance and fear can be fought with knowledge. Unfortunately, broad knowledge-building is not generally the objective of sex education in US middle and high schools. At best, sex education deals with sexuality as a matter of biology: how do male and female bodies engage in (heterosexual and procreative) sex. At worst, the message is that all sex is bad unless you are married and want to procreate. These types of sex education do not transfer much needed tools to our children as they grapple with their evolving sexuality. Indeed, by ignoring (or vilifying) sexuality altogether, limited sex education may instead feed the fear that expresses itself as sexual harassment.

Comprehensive sex education, on the other hand, provides the broader knowledge our children need and want. At its best, comprehensives sex education engages children on their own level of comprehension in a conversation about what sexuality means, how to relate to ourselves and each other with respect, and how to make responsible and informed choices about our sexual and reproductive lives. Comprehensive sex education not only combats the fear and stereotypes that fuel sexual harassment, it also works in terms of delaying the age of sexual initiation and lowering the number of teenage pregnancies.

Full Article here. And yet another reason why I advocate so hard for comprehensive sex ed programs in schools.

Source: rhrealitycheck.org
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I’ve found that just as domestic violence is about power and control, so is street harassment. And sitting at the root of these ills is male privilege.

With male privilege comes a feeling of entitlement: entitlement to sex, entitlement to being in control, having their needs as a priority, and also the expectation that when a man, or men sexually harasses a woman in public that woman should be happy to be getting some attention.

When their advances are rejected, some men call women all kind of different names in an attempt to get some power back. This name-calling also serves to send a message to women which says that their worth is defined by how satisfied a man is with them.

Living in a culture that has very specific rules and expectations regarding what is feminine and masculine, and one that reinforces in overt and subtle ways the subordination of women contributes to the problem, and many images in the media give the message that its ok to treat women like objects, reinforcing the idea of male entitlement & superiority, and subjugation of women.

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Source: stopstreetharassment.org
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Apparently, the officer doesn’t think it’s wise for female students to wear skirts on the TTC, since the pervert looks up their skirts. In terms of the two girls who were harassed, he says, “if they had, for example, jeans or sweatpants on, it wouldn’t be an issue.”

Perhaps this officer was well intentioned when he made these comments, but the “advice” offered provides no security for girls of any age. In fact, it does more to harm us than it does to help us.

When the officer says that there wouldn’t be an issue if the girl’s hadn’t been wearing skirts, the officer is completely brushing aside the fact that there wouldn’t be an issue if there hadn’t been a pervert.

Law enforcement officials advising young girls not to wear skirts because there are perverts out there are sending the message that in wearing the skirts the girls are to blame for the harassment. Whether they intend to or not, they are reinforcing the belief that women are responsible for the behavior that their clothing provokes in other people.

But believe me, these girls could have been dressed in jeans and sweatpants, and they probably would have still been harassed because the skirts are not the issue, and the girls are not the issue.

The issue is the pervert. If you replace the skirts with pants, the pervert still remains. So, the real problem is sexual harassment, and as a woman, I can tell you that it is a problem. A major problem.

I would also like to add that sexual harassment still occurs in countries where women are completely covered from head to toe, so can we please once and for all drop the illusion that the problem is a woman’s attire?

Full Article Here.

And I would Just Like to remind everyone:

In January a representative of the Toronto Police stated, “women should avoid dressing like sluts in order not to be victimized.” This remarked sparked SlutWalk Toronto and scores more SlutWalks around the world.

But apparently that message wasn’t clear enough. What more do we have to do so demand that police officers in Toronto and people around the world stop telling girls and women how to dress and inspire them to focus instead on solely stopping harassers and assaulters and ending the culture that fosters such harassment and assault?

Read more here.

Source: news.sympatico.ca
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"You are the reason I don’t feel safe walking home at night. You are the reason I keep my keys in my hand, testing their sharp edges. You are the reason I wonder how quickly I can run away. You are the reason I weigh the pros and cons of fighting back. You are the reason I wonder if I would ever be able to get over it if I were raped. You are the reason my drink is always in my hand. You are the reason I will tell a friend to call me when I’m supposed to be home from a date. You are the reason I don’t smile at strangers on the street, because I worry that a simple smile will be interpreted as a come-on. You are the reason I cross my legs and arms and avoid eye contact with strangers on public transportation. You are the reason my headphones are always in my ears, even if I’m not listening to music. You are the reason I have to fake a cell phone conversation. You are the reason I have to make an actual call if I am walking alone."

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Anoushka’s “Rant About Street Harassment” (via mynerdishowing)

***TW rape, sexual assault, harassment**

Source: mynerdishowing
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elytra:

I’ve been getting harassed, whistled at, and honked at for at least eight years. I can remember some individual incidents — having a beer can thrown at me when I was 14 and walking my dog. My girlfriend and I (16) being followed down the street by a man talking about how he would “bend us over and fuck us raw” until we ducked into a store and the security guard sent the man away. Trying to cross the street with my 12-year-old campers when I was 17, a car rolling up and a bunch of men inside saying nasty, violent, sexual things to me in front of the children until a security guard came over and threatened to call the cops. Walking to the subway after a choral gig with my choir director and a man hissing “nice ass, bitch” while I (18) walked by. But mostly it blurs together, having happened so often. Normally I feel pissed for a minute and then it goes away. Sometimes I feel frightened, depending on context. Rarely do I feel sad, and rarely am I aware of how demeaning it is.

Today I was whistled at by two guys in a car. (It made the third “thing” from today: one thing said from a car window, one up-and-down + wink, and this.) And I just felt deflated, demeaned, hurt, and sad.

I am not an object. Stop treating me like one.

Source: elytra